A Note from Hixon Frank
Hixon Frank June 20, 2024

A Quick Note on Gossip and its first cousin Slander: Though gossip and slander are distinct, I will lump them together for the purposes of this article.

Hey Church,

2 Corinthians 12:20

 For I fear that perhaps when I come, I will not find you to be what I want, and you may not find me to be what you want. Perhaps there will be quarreling, jealousy, angry outbursts, selfish ambitions, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.

Let’s be honest! We’ve all done it! And we have all been the target of it!  Of course, I am talking about GOSSIP and SLANDER.  It’s just too easy! Whether driven by insecurity, anger, habit, or that we “haven’t eaten all day,” our ability to talk down about other people seems limitless! And, sadly, it is so ingrained in our habits that we hardly notice, much less allow God to root it out of us.  

I mean, who doesn’t want to be better than someone else? Smarter or more informed? Or, and this is a big one, needed by others? Gossip/Slander is a way to accomplish all of that. A terrible, destructive, vindictive way, but it is a way, nonetheless. 

It just feels good to talk ABOUT people doesn’t it!

When we get good at gossip/slander, we might drop some vague innuendos that leave the hearer wondering about the person in a negative way.  At the same time, we get to feel important and like the “keepers of virtue!” It’s perfect!

Perfectly sinister…

The Bible has some strong words for us about OUR words…

Proverbs 20:19

“The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.”

And then ….

Psalm 101:5

I will destroy anyone who secretly slanders his neighbor;
I cannot tolerate anyone with haughty eyes or an arrogant heart.

YIKES!

When our kids were young, we dedicated a room in our house for toys, games, and art. Like many others we called the room, cleverly enough, the playroom. As the kids grew up, the need for a playroom lessened and “glue and glitter” became “cell phones and make up.” So, we turned it into our master bedroom with new paint, carpet, furniture, etc…  For many years, we would find traces of glitter in the playroom. It would catch the light and remind us once again that the master bedroom was once a playroom.

Long after we moved away, I ran into the gentleman who bought our house. He was a kind man and quite talkative. He asked me about the house and how we had arranged it and then asked specifically about the master bedroom. He chuckled and said that his wife “routinely noticed little flecks of glitter. About the time she thinks she has got it all vacuumed–up, another tiny sparkle will catch her eye. She has stopped trying.”

That’s like gossip/slander. Once it is spoken, it is very hard to control. It gets “into things” and is never really fully removed.  But unlike glitter, it doesn’t bring back fond memories … it ruins relationships, reputations, and, if not kept in check, hinders the cause of Christ.

Ok, so what exactly is gossip/slander?

Let’s use the following as a working definition.

“GOSSIP” and “SLANDER” (G/S)

1. Gossip is talking about another person who is not present at the moment. Usually in a slanderous way.
2. Slander is making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation. But “what if the claim is true?” you may ask.  Then I would refer you to Matthew 18!

The natural man who gossips/slanders creates fear. If they are honest, they believe they are “gaining the upper hand” socially by being the keeper of knowledge, standards, and secrets. That, in turn, makes others see them as valuable and needed. In reality, they are creating fear in others and in themselves.

Three realities of the gossiper and slanderer.

1. Their close relationships are almost exclusively with other people who gossip and slander. Not that they occasionally “fall into” moments of G/S, but that is the way they operate. In some ways, gossip and slander are the foundation of the relationship! Think about it. If you removed critical/slanderous comments about your boss, your competitors, public figures, your waitress, your pastors, your teachers, other parents, someone getting more attention than you, etc… what would be left for you to talk about? If your answer is “not much,” then it would be worth considering the aforementioned verses.
2. Most spiritually healthy people avoid others who gossip and slander. They may be pleasant and conciliatory, especially when work, a social event, or even church forces interaction, but they know this… “If you will gossip and slander about others who are not present, you will gossip and slander me when I’m not present.” It stifles real friendships!
3. They have an amazing ability to excuse their own behavior in favor of pointing out the problems with others. Spiritually healthy people find it very difficult to trust them. Knowing, of course, when things go a different direction, or they are in a pinch, the G/S will throw “anyone and everyone under the bus” to avoid responsibility. It’s in all of our nature to do this, but to those who “spend their days with gossip and slander,” it is a truism.

“When we gossip we are fertilizing our mind with toxicity and judgement.”

– Psychology Today

IMPACT OF GOSSIP/SLANDER

Gossip/Slander has much larger implications that you might think. You may put this in the “no harm no foul” category of sin, like you might categorize speeding in your car or leaving work a few minutes early. But gossip/slander is subtle and weaves its way into our lives and becomes embedded. It feeds our self-absorptions, fears, and our arrogance.  

1. Gossip/slander causes mistrust and insecurity. Interestingly enough, this doesn’t just happen to the target of gossip/slander. The one gossiping or slandering is deeply impacted by their own words, as well.  It drives fear and insecurity into our own hearts.
2. Gossip/slander never stays where you want it to. Once said, words have a life of their own (figuratively speaking). They are always passed along.
3. Gossip/slander feeds the arrogance that demands we put others down to lift ourselves up.
4. Gossip/slander endorses sin. The one who gossips/slandesr has told everyone who hears them that talking against others behind their backs is OK. I see it in families, businesses,and churches.
5. Gossip harms the church. The words “Jesus Loves You” fall flat to a watching world who protest, “you can’t even love each other, why would we believe you love us?”

Proverbs 18:8 says,

“A gossip’s words are like choice food that goes down to one’s innermost being.”

PRACTICAL WAYS TO SPOT GOSSIP/SLANDER

Ask yourself…

• Is the person you are talking negatively about in the room?  Then stop! Go to them privately and look to restore, help, or admonish.
• Is the information you are sharing for the edification or destruction of someone?  If for their edification, raise your voice…if their destruction, close your mouth!

Beloved… we are all in the same boat and none of us have “clean hands” when it comes to gossip and slander. We can blame our East Texas culture … we can say that “everyone else does it” … we can even say that “I was just telling the truth.” But at the end of the day did you build up the Body of Christ with your mouth, or did you breed fear and trepidation in the Bride of Christ?

Let’s be better, together!

 

By the way, VOLUNTEERS NEEDED – July 12-14

“God and the Great Outdoors” is an Exciting Outdoor Expo that combines Boats, ATV’s, fishing demonstrations, petting zoo, food and the GOSPEL!  www.gatgoexpo.com

 And we need your help!  GABC has partnered with Rock Hill Baptist Church for this exciting event. It takes place July 12-14 at the Oil Palace in Tyler and we have an incredible opportunity to serve… in hospitality, ticketing, etc…  If you are interested in serving (includes free t-shirt) please email Hixon Frank at hixon@gabc.org.  

Event information – You will find numerous fun and/or educational activities for the entire family at the God & the Great Outdoors Expo. Some activities will be running throughout the expo while others are at specific times. Again, head to www.gatgoexpo.com for more information.

You are loved and have been prayed for!

Hixon

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